It’s been a long time

since I’ve cried myself to sleep.  I feel as if I’m swimming in a pit of despair.  I see glimpses of sunlight where I surface from the darkness and have normal happy days.  But, as of late, I can’t seem to find the positives in life and I can’t stop crying.  I can’t seem to remember what it’s like to not be this low.  I can’t seem to get out of bed at a normal hour.  Going to work…hell, even getting ready for work is a trial and tribulation.  At work, it takes me an exponentially more amount of energy to pretend I’m the same old me.  Fun, happy, loud, sarcastic, fiery, sassy, me.  As I think about it, I cannot seem to grasp what it took to get me there.

I want to disappear.

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1 Comment

Filed under Home, Life

One response to “It’s been a long time

  1. I am so sorry to hear you are battling this. I have been there I get it. One close to me has recently been struggling these same issues. She got on some medication and it really helped. It was the hands up to pull her out of the dark trench called depression. Is medication something you might consider? I hear your pain and desperation. I hope you can get some needed help. Hang in there. Good post.
    You are not alone.

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