I am officially alone. The one person who is my friend; the one person who I thought could be a very good friend, perhaps the best of friends, has left. She did not want to leave. Under her circumstances I would have left and that is that. I am so sad. I am so sad and so upset that the one person I could confide in has left. All the close friends in my life have left. And, when I say “left” I mean moved. I know a friendship can stand the tests of location and distance. But, I will no loner see this person often or as often as I want. I could have seen this person at least three times a week or more. We just had a drink last night. We were venting to each other. Who am I going tot o vent to now? Who will I go to for advice and female companionship? And, now, I can only see this person if she comes back to Gainesville to visit or if I come down there to visit.
I talked to the SO on the phone for 10 seconds and I wanted to cry. I just started to cry. The SO and I had tiff not so long ago and I guess on top of my friend leaving in such dire circumstances has made me more sad and more upset. I didn’t want to go to work because I knew I she wouldn’t be there and the cause of her departure would be. The SO tried to make me feel better by saying that I needed to get out more and be more sociable. I have another friend who I like, but we are on two different pages of life. She has a career and a great thing going for her. It would just illuminate itself to me how much of a failure I am. The SO, as a man, tried to give me advice and tell how I could fix the predicament I was in. As a woman, I just wanted to vent and cry and not want to think about making a new friend. It took me a long time to make stride with this friend because of our closely guarded natures. I felt especially close with her because we were in the same situation. Graduates from a great college, but no career to show for it. She is an inspiration to me to be more motivated and to find a real job outside of the restaurant industry.
I will miss her.